Yay! October 3, 2008

If you’re reading this, then that must mean my website has been relaunched and you have already visited it!    Thanks!  I’ve been thinking about and working on this for some time.  I’m thankful for my friends who have put up with me asking them to review and edit and provide feedback on every single thing…lol.  I especially want to thank…my sister, my mom & dad, Jonathan, Trina, Nana, Precious, Salama, Toni, Tavon, Shawn, Cammie, Alita, Age, Scott, Eb, Kaya…hopefully, I didn’t forget anyone…whether you proofed and discussed the survey, gave me feedback on the site, help formulate the scavenger hunt idea, etc., I greatly appreciate you.  And don’t worry…there will be more involuntary work for you to do in the future…lol. 

I’m excited about both the look and content of the redesigned site.  The biggest addition to the site is my latest project…the brown girl project.  This idea has grown from a conversation with a girlfriend into this evolving project.  I had been writing some pieces dealing specifically with brown girls/women and I thought about dedicating a whole book to the subject.  From there, I began to wonder how I could talk to other women (including those outside of my own circle) and find out what their experiences had been in order to write poems from a more broadened perspective…with the intention of reaching more girls and women and empowering them through their own circumstances.  Lofty goal?  Perhaps, but I figure everything is worth a try!  So…out of this was born the brown girl survey.  This online survey will ask a whole range of questions about the experiences of brown girls and women, as well as questions of those who don’t fit into that demographic.  I’m excited and hopeful that women from all backgrounds and perspectives will take a few minutes and answer these questions.  I’m extremely interested to read the responses.  If you’re interested, please take the survey here:

the brown girl survey

Based on the results of this survey, I will begin to craft small discussion groups to talk more in depth about some of the topics.  But, more to come on that later on.

 

Shifting gears…for those in the DC Metro area, I will be hosting a DC Scavenger Hunt on October 11th from 12:00 PM until about 4:00 PM.  I know there are those of you who secretly wish you could be on The Amazing Race…lol.  Well, here’s your chance to do something on a smaller scale that doesn’t take as much time!  Teams of two will be given a set of clues to find throughout the city (most within several blocks of metro stations).  The teams will find these clues/locations, snap their picture in front of it and get points for each clue found.  They will have a certain amount of time to capture as many clues as they can and then race back to the meeting spot (Union Station) to see who wins.  And if that’s not exciting enough…(insert drum roll here…lol)…there will be a cash prize for first place!  Registration is $20 in advance (before October 11th). 

So…are you up to the challenge???  If so, register online on the site: 

Scavenger Hunt Registration (click on the Events tab)

 

For any events like this that I host, I will be aiming to generate funds to donate to an organization that in some way, services the needs of brown girls and women.  For this event, a portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Center for Minority Studies…a non-profit organization who services, among others, brown women by helping to meet their educational health needs.  Check them out:

 

Okay…I guess that’s all I have for right now.  Feel free to subscribe to the blog so you’ll know when I post something new.  I’ll blog about how the survey’s going, what’s new with the project and to share new poems.

Hope you like the new site!

humble me May 21, 2008

What can I say about this poem…it is the recognition that we, as women, sometimes have a hard time letting go of the…independence, for lack of a better word, in which we exist.  For whatever our individual reasons are, we are used to doing things by ourselves and for ourselves.  After how ever many years of living in that mindset, it can be hard to relax and let down that guard when a good and right man comes along.  I don’t think that most men get that it has become a part of who we are as opposed to it just being an attitude or a difficult way of acting.  I have had enlightening conversations with a few girlfriends about this lately and I understand the importance of us knowing when we can let it go…when we can let down the guard.  Easier said than done, as I’m sure most of us have been hurt before, but it is necessary.  Keep in mind that this only applies to that good and right man I mentioned earlier…

humble me

Humble me Lord
while I fumble these words
and submit to the possibility
that he may be
for me
that he may be
the other half of the we
I was never sure I’d see
that he may be
the man to see
the virtuous woman in me
so Lord I pray You
help me to be made ready and

Humble me

Humble me Lord

so that he sees

the willing that

sometimes resides

behind the disguise

of independence

so that he sees

the me

hiding behind the defenses

so that he sees

how strongly I really want

to be in this

so Lord I pray You

help me to release my resistance and

Humble me

Humble me Lord

so that I know

when to be heard

and when to listen

so that my pride knows

when to relinquish

the rights to my submission

so that my mind knows

it’s safe to

grant my heart permission

so Lord I pray You

help me to make needing him my admission and

Humble me

Humble me Lord

so that he and I can be on

one accord

in all ways

so that on those days

when it gets rough

I allow him to take my hand

as we pray

so that when we get

caught in this craze

I submit to his ability to lead us

out the maze

so Lord I pray You

help me to surrender my stubborn ways and

Humble me

Humble me Lord

are the most genuine words

I speak

as I seek to

release all that

is old and

all past hurts

to which my heart

still holds

Lord I pray You

make me bold in my

new willingness

to be open

make me soft

before my words are spoken

make me ready to fully embrace love again

and make me strong enough to

allow my head to bow and

my knees to bend

so Lord

just as you’ve humbled

him

Lord I pray You

Humble me.

Amen.

-cdt, 5/15/08

For those who knew Calvin… April 14, 2008

A friend of mine from college passed away last week, quite unexpectedly, at least to us.   So, I know this has been a rough week for all of us who knew Calvin.  I’m sure most of us have been feeling that it was so unexpected and way too soon to lose him.  I just wanted to share with you the text that the preacher used yesterday at my church.  He was speaking from Luke 2:49.  His sermon actually went in a different direction, but my mind related it to Calvin.  This part of Luke is about how Jesus and his parents (and family) went to Jerusalem for the feast of the Passover.  When Jesus was 12, they went to Jerusalem for the custom and soon after, left…I’m assuming to go back home.  Well, after about a day or so, as they were traveling home, they realized that Jesus was not with them and the family.  They went back to Jerusalem to find Jesus at the temple “talking with the doctors” – both asking and answering questions.

As I imagine every parent would do, they were concerned that he was “missing.”  Vs. 48 – “…and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us?  behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.”  And Jesus replied by saying in vs 49 – “How is it that ye sought me?  wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?”

Jesus was not where his parents and family expected him to be.  But that was simply their expectation.  Jesus was right where he was supposed to be…handling his Father’s business.

I have to believe the same is with Calvin.  In his sudden death, we are looking for him…wondering why he is not where we expected him to be.  It is human nature to expect a 32 year old man, so full of life, to be here tomorrow.  But, we have to understand that it’s not about us.  It’s not about our plans or expectations.  I believe that Calvin, in his fly church suit , was saying, hey, I have to be about my Father’s business.  As much as I love you all, don’t be surprised when you look and I am not there because I have been called by my Father to do greater things.

So, friends, although this time is hard for us, let us all try to find comfort in knowing that Calvin, though he is not physically with us, is on the job.  When God told him to, he packed up and moved to Atlanta for Divinity School.  And now, when God called him again, he put on his suit and followed Him, agenda in hand, ready to take care of His Father’s business.  (Now, I’m not sure if cigars are allowed on this job…but…either way, I’m sure Calvin will fill the position successfully.  )

It has helped me to think in this way and I hope in some way, this helps you.  We will cry, we will grieve, but ultimately we will smile and celebrate the fullness of Calvin’s life and the wonderful memories that we all have of him. 

Take care

2007 in Review/New Year’s Thoughts January 13, 2008

Good evening all…

 

I first sat down to write my “New Year’s message” a few weeks ago.  As usual, time got the better of me and here I am, weeks later, talking about 2007.  It’s okay though…all things in due time.  So if you have some time, here goes… 

 

I have had the pleasure of celebrating many things this past year.  Celebrating 30^th birthdays with close friends, the completion of degrees, marriages, births…all sorts of good things.   I have sat on a beach in St. Lucia with some of my best sister-friends and talked about everything and about nothing at all.  I have enjoyed all that was the D-30.  I have stepped over some fears to get to some of the good stuff.  I have had great conversations with fabulous people.  I have watched my sister walk a path lit solely by faith.  I have held the beautiful baby girl of one of my oldest friends, in my arms.  I have celebrated my grandmother’s 85th birthday with her.  I have had the privilege of taking part in the wedding of a good friend who finally found the love she deserved.  I have come to know the beauty of new friends and felt the hurt of letting go of old ones.  I have felt the giddiness of butterflies and felt the pang of unattainable embraces.

 

I have loved truly and spoken honestly.  I have come face to face with the necessity of vulnerability.  I have taken risks for love and finally felt the satisfaction of knowing I’d said it all, even if the results weren’t as I hoped.  I have forgiven myself for past mistakes and try not to repeat them.  I have strived to ask, unapologetically, for what I want and not settle for less than that.  I have begun to better understand the difference between compromise and settling.  I have known the blessing and the support of true friendship.  I have cried when my heart hurt and am still learning, like the lady in the Kleenex commercial said…that my tears don’t compromise my strength…they never have.  I have laughed so hysterically that my stomach hurt and I couldn’t breathe.  I have had a good, although at times complicated, year.

 

I haven’t written much lately, so I guess I have a lot to say.  So you are invited to read on as I write now and share my thoughts on and lessons learned in 2007.  There were a lot of lessons along the way, but some that stood out poignantly.  Granted, most of this I’m sure you’ve already heard, but, looking at it through different eyes may allow you to understand it with a different mindset.

 

I’ve spent the last several weeks digging into old boxes and storage containers with the expressed purpose of reducing the clutter in my place.  Determined to throw out unnecessary things and to file/scrapbook/place pictures and mementos that I actually wanted to keep, I’ve spent hours upon hours on the floor in my different rooms and closets.  I came across great memories that left me smiling and laughing over times past.  I also came across plenty of things that I wondered why I had kept for so long.  (In the next week, some of you will be the recipients of the results of this mass cleaning!)  It was during these late hours that it occurred to me…my last recognizable lesson of 2007.  No two things can occupy the exact same space at the same time.  Not anything I haven’t heard before…seemingly in some physics class or something.  Although quite simple in a physical sense, as I sat on the floor throwing out items with the anticipation of filling those spaces with something new, I realized that the same rule applies in every area, on every level.  Not just physical space, but mental space and emotional space, too.  Go figure.  The translation for me was…you mean, holding on to old hurts, anger and disappointments occupies space that can not be filled with new healings, joys and successes?  Again, go figure.  The full weight of this thought puts us in charge of our spaces.  It allows us to make decisions about whether we want to exist with cluttered spaces or if we want to put in the work to clean them out, ultimately allowing sunlight and freshness the opportunity to come in.  Aha!  The cleaning continues… 

 

Similar to the two things occupying the same space thought, I understand that it’s not always easy to get rid of/let go of the old to make room for the new.  The reality is that it’s hard to move on.  But that’s what life is about…living and moving on.  Holding on too long not only makes you incapable of grabbing onto new things, but it also drains the goodness and the joy out of what once was.  The reality is that relationships/friendships don’t all last forever.  So, when they end, take time to grieve them (yes, grieve them, for it is indeed, a loss), accept it and then, move forward.

 

Unfortunately, when those aforementioned relationships do end, they don’t always do so in a tidy way.  Actually, rarely do things end the way in which we would wish.  Put simply by my best friend as we sat on the balcony in St. Lucia chatting about life and love…sometimes people don’t say goodbye.  Whether it is a severed relationship, a faded friendship or the loss of a loved one.  Sometimes, people don’t (or can’t) say goodbye.  And somehow, some way, we have to reconcile whatever residual issues, unanswered questions and leftover ‘stuff’ remains.  And sometimes, the answer simply is that some things are not meant for us to figure out.  Ha. 

 

Now I’m sure I could go on for pages and pages, but I’m starting to get hungry.  So, to quickly sum up the remaining thoughts…here they are:

 

• It’s not always about you.  Period.

 

• There are some things that are completely out of your control.  Let me restate…there are most things that are completely out of your control.  The only thing that you truly have control over is your own actions.  You can’t control what other people feel, what other people say or what other people do.  And the sooner you (I) really come to terms with that, the easier it will be.

 

• Giving up and letting go are two different things.  Giving up is an act of defeat.  Letting go is an act of understanding.  

 

• Tell the truth….to yourself and to others.

 

• Be kind with your words and be gentle with your tone.  Both are powerful tools.

 

• Choose love.

 

If you’re still reading at this point…lol, be excited that 2008 is a new year.  It is yet another set of opportunities to do better today than yesterday.  It is the chance to change your life, or somebody else’s for the better.

 

So in this new year I would like you to know that if our connection, whatever that may be, is meant to go and grow another year, I hope we both take full advantage of it and cultivate it.  And if our paths have diverged, not to cross again, then I wish you happiness and I am thankful for having known you.  With that said, I wish many things for all of you (and me).  I hope you find, recognize and embrace true love.  I hope your mistakes are few, but your lessons learned are many.  I hope you think in wisdom, act in love and exist in truth.  I hope you leave for the right reasons and only stay for the best ones.  I hope you let go of what you were not meant to hold on to so you can be free to hold hands with your right destiny.  I hope you cry when you need to and laugh as much as you can.  I hope you pursue your passion with unrelenting fervor.  I hope you pray often and hear God when He speaks to you.  I hope your hurts and your heart are healed.  I hope you find peace beyond understanding.  And last but not least, I hope you live this year such that when 2009 rolls around, you have no missed opportunities, no unsaid words and no regrets.

 

Happy New Year.

It’s A New Season… July 6, 2007

If you are reading this, that means you are visiting my newly relaunched Soulfully Speaking website…so, welcome!!  I’m excited about the re-design of the site, thanks to Jonathan McDougald (www.jalexanderonline.com) for putting it all together. 

I’ve been flying low on the radar for a little while, but I’m back.  I’ve never stopped writing, so you can check out some of my newer work (meaning since I put out the last book) in some of the blog entries below.  I have a few interesting projects in the works and coming up, so be on the look out for them! 

Just to share with you….my current daily song of motivation is Martha Munizzi’s “It’s A New Season” which pretty much gets at where my head is these days.  The chorus is:

It’s a new season
It’s a new day
Fresh anointing is flowing my way
It’s a season of power and prosperity
It’s a new season…coming to me…

So, there it is.  I’m claiming my new season, effective immediately. 

Enjoy the site!!

Cipriana 

Be Giants! November 21, 2006

Good morning all!

I heard a great sermon on Sunday and just wanted to share a little bit of it with you.  We had a guest preacher, Rev. Dr. Gregory Moss from St. Paul Baptist Church in Charlotte, NC.

He preached from the text of Numbers 13:33 which reads:

And there we saw the giants, the sons of A’nak which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.

He spoke a lot about how our mentality, our insecurities, our doubts and in general, our own “stuff”, is what gets in the way of us following God’s plan for us.  We are in the habit of holding on to old things….old relationships, old hurts, old injustices, old experiences, etc. and allowing those things to prevent us from grasping the new opportunities and possibilities that exist.  We can’t explore the possibilities of a healthy new relationship because we’re still harping on the last bad relationship we had years ago or because we’re stuck in a relationship now that we know has no future.  We’d rather stay in a job we don’t like and complain about it everyday than to step out and pursue something new.  I once heard someone say that: “People would rather stay in hell because at least they already know the street names.”  For whatever reason, we sometimes hold on to the past for too long.  For whatever reason, we sometimes cripple ourselves before we even get the chance to succeed.  For whatever reason, we sometimes foster a grasshopper mentality in a world of perceived giants.  But, I don’t believe that God intended us to be fearful of our past or our future.  We have to stop gripping our past, start believing in ourselves and take a step forward…because let’s face it, we were created to be giants!

A few quotables from Reverend Moss:

• You can’t open new doors with old keys.
• You can’t walk backwards into your future.
• You can’t progress to the Promise Land of your future if you’re always trying to hold on to the Egypt of your past.

Have a great week and a Happy Thanksgiving!

Where’s My Coat? October 2, 2006

Good afternoon,

I hope you had a great weekend…we’re only five days away from the next one.  )

I’m not sure if I’ll have a poem to send out this week, but I thought I’d share what was on my mind this morning instead.

Where’s My Coat?

On my way to work this morning, I was mulling over the various things taking up space in my mental.  The things I’m working on and the things trying to work on me.  I got to thinking about a few of the concerns about which I had recently prayed.  We spend this time praying about things we want, things we think we want, things we think we need, changes we’d like to see in ourselves and in the people and things around us.  At times, we make these specific requests, phrased in a particular way, with the hopes of an exact outcome.  We speak and ask and cry, but that’s only half of the equation.  As my Dad pointed out last week, we often forget to listen for the answers after we’ve asked these questions.  And then when we do “listen,” we’re really only listening for what we want to hear in the way we want to hear it.  It struck me this morning regarding something I had prayed about, talked about, complained about and everything else.  It occurred to me that the response to this prayer actually might have come quite quickly, if I were to choose to accept it as such….which I previously hadn’t.  I’ve been so busy wondering what happened and being hurt and upset about events as they’ve happened.  But really, it’s exactly what I asked for.  So either I wasn’t really prepared for what I asked for, I didn’t really want it, I only wanted it to happen my way or some combination of the three. 

So, I see it like this…

You pray for a leather coat to keep you warm during the winter.  November comes…December comes…January…you’re into February and still no leather coat.  So much for God listening, huh?  Well, what were you praying for exactly?  Were you praying for warmth, with the leather coat being your preferred choice for how to achieve that?  As you sit there on a sunny winter February day, you overlook how the temperatures have been uncharacteristically warm since November.  Temperatures have been warm enough that the coats you have in your closet already, turned out to be sufficient.  Did you get a leather coat?  No.  Did you need a leather coat?  No.  If what you prayed for was warmth, that’s exactly what you were given.  It just didn’t come in the way in which you thought it originally should have.  I think we can, at least I can, get so focused on the method with which prayers are answered that we lose focus on the fact that the prayer was answered and the need was met.  It may take awhile, but maybe eventually I’ll get the hang of not missing the leather coat in favor of appreciating the warm days.

Have a good week!